I have noticed that the way I speak to someone changes when I know I am loved by them. When you are uncertain about your place in someone’s heart, you tend to measure your words, study their reactions and sometimes feel as though you must justify your presence. But when you know you are welcomed, conversation becomes freer. You are no longer trying to earn the relationship while you are having the conversation.
I sometimes wonder how much of our struggle with prayer is actually connected to the picture of God we carry into prayer. We can know the correct Christian language and still approach Him as though He is distant, reluctant or waiting for us to become impressive enough before He listens. That is why I find the beginning of Jesus’ teaching on prayer so beautiful:
“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.” — Matthew 6:9 KJV
Before Jesus tells His disciples what to ask for, He establishes who they are speaking to. Prayer begins with revelation: Our Father.
Relationship Before Request
The prayer Jesus teaches eventually includes very practical requests. There is daily bread, forgiveness, protection from temptation and deliverance from evil. Jesus does not pretend that human needs are unimportant, nor does He teach us to become so “spiritual” that we are embarrassed to ask God for help. Yet the requests do not come first. Relationship does. One of the things I love about the Lord’s Prayer is that Jesus does not make our needs insignificant; He simply refuses to make them the centre of our relationship with God. Before the disciple says, “Give us,” she has already said, “Our Father.” That order changes everything. If prayer is primarily about getting things from God, then we will judge our prayer life almost entirely by results. When the answer comes, prayer works. When the answer delays, we begin wondering whether there is any point in continuing. But if prayer is communion with the Father, then even while we are waiting for an answer, something precious is already happening: we are with Him.
The secret place is not merely where requests are processed. It is where relationship is cultivated.
Jesus Reveals The Father
Jesus did not come merely to teach us a better name to use when addressing God. He came revealing the Father. He told Philip:
“…he that hath seen me hath seen the Father…” — John 14:9 KJV
If you want to understand the heart of the Father, look at Jesus. Look at His compassion toward the broken, His holiness, His patience, His truth, His mercy and His willingness to receive those who came to Him. Then, after His resurrection, Jesus said something extraordinary:
“…I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.” — John 20:17 KJV
“My Father, and your Father.” Through Christ, something has happened to our relationship with God. Romans 8:15 tells us: “…ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” Galatians 4:6 similarly says that God has sent “the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.” Calling God Father, therefore, is not simply comforting language. It belongs to the reality of redemption. Through Christ we have been brought near, and through the Holy Spirit this relationship becomes something we increasingly know and experience.
Prayer does not create this relationship. Prayer expresses a relationship Christ has already made possible. I do not pray long enough until God eventually agrees to become my Father. I come because through Christ I have been received. My prayer is not an attempt to purchase belonging; it is the response of someone who has been brought near.
When “Father” Feels Complicated
I am also aware that father is not an uncomplicated word for every woman. Some hear it and immediately think of protection, affection and safety. Others may remember absence, inconsistency, disappointment or a relationship that never became what they hoped it would be. When human fatherhood has disappointed us, we can unknowingly project those experiences onto God. We may expect Him to become distant when we fail, reluctant when we ask, or unavailable when we need Him.
But God is not an enlarged version of the people who disappointed us. We do not define our heavenly Father by human failure. We allow our heavenly Father to show us what fatherhood was always meant to reflect. Psalm 103:13 says: “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.” Perhaps part of returning to the secret place is allowing Scripture to correct assumptions about God that life taught us incorrectly. The Father Jesus reveals may be far better than the Father you have imagined.
You Are Not Submitting A Spiritual Performance Report
Religious thinking can make prayer exhausting because it teaches us to approach God according to how impressed we currently are with ourselves. After a wonderful week of prayer, Bible reading and obedience, we come confidently. After a week in which we struggled, became distracted or failed somewhere, suddenly we want to hide. Without realizing it, we can begin presenting a spiritual performance report: Lord, I prayed yesterday, read several chapters, behaved myself reasonably well, forgave that person who was seriously testing my sanctification, so perhaps we can now discuss my request.
But children do not become children by submitting excellent weekly reports. Our access to God rests in Christ. This does not make obedience unnecessary. Knowing the Father’s love should actually deepen our desire to please Him. Jesus said, “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). The difference is that obedience becomes the fruit of relationship rather than an attempt to purchase one.
You are not praying so that God will eventually accept you. You are approaching through the One in whom you have been accepted. IF HE ALREADY KNOWS, WHY PRAY? Immediately before teaching the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus says:
“…your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.” — Matthew 6:8 KJV
I find that statement remarkable because it raises an obvious question: if the Father already knows, why does He invite us to ask? The answer reveals how much bigger prayer is than transferring information. We are not giving heaven its morning briefing, as though God has just opened His inbox and discovered what happened while He was away. He knows before we speak.
Yet He still invites us to speak. Why? Because prayer is relationship. It is dependence, trust, worship, surrender, asking, listening and participating with God. The Father does not invite us to prayer because He lacks information; He invites us because He desires communion. This means you can speak to Him about the enormous things and the ordinary things. You can bring your questions, disappointments, hopes and needs. You can thank Him, worship Him, sit quietly before Him and allow His Word to search your heart.
Prayer becomes richer when God Himself becomes the reason we come.
Intimacy Without Losing Wonder
Jesus says, “Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.” I love the balance in that sentence. The One who invites us into intimacy remains the Holy God. Knowing Him as Father does not make Him casual or common. True intimacy with God produces greater reverence because the closer we come, the more we discover His greatness.
We are welcomed, yet we worship. We are loved, yet we honour Him. We come boldly through Christ, yet we never lose the wonder that the Creator of heaven and earth has invited us to call Him Father. Yesterday we shut the door. Today we discover who is waiting in the secret place. Perhaps before bringing your requests today, remain there for a moment. You do not need to impress Him or explain why you deserve His attention. Through Christ, come near and allow these simple words to become more than religious vocabulary: Father, I want to know You.
Declarations
◆ God is my Father, and through Jesus Christ I have been brought near to Him.
◆ I receive a deeper revelation of the Father’s love, goodness, holiness and faithfulness.
◆ My relationship with God is established through Christ, not through my spiritual performance.
◆ I refuse to define my heavenly Father by the failures and limitations of human relationships.
◆ I am free from fear, striving and the need to earn God’s acceptance.
◆ Prayer is becoming genuine communion with my Father, not merely a place where I present requests.
◆ I am growing in intimacy with God while increasing in reverence for His holiness.
◆ The Holy Spirit is teaching my heart to know and trust the Father.
◆ I approach God knowing that He sees me, knows me and welcomes me through Christ.
◆ My greatest treasure in the secret place is God Himself.
My Prayer For You
May the Holy Spirit reveal the Father to you more deeply and free your heart from every distorted picture of Him. May you come to the secret place with increasing confidence through Christ, and may prayer become the joy of knowing, loving and walking with your Father.
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